Stop comparing yourself to others: 4 Tips for the African GoWoman

Photo: Miss Haiti Beauty Contest 2010
Photo: Miss Haiti Beauty Contest 2010

We found these tips on how to stop comparing yourself with others from the always inspirational Iyanla Vanzant very useful.  We can not escape from the truth that many of us African GoWomen have been raised to believe that we are in competition with others, especially our sisters.

A woman walks into the room, and the first thing you do is assess her clothes, and her looks. Your friend gets a promotion at her job, and you start feeling bad for yourself because you haven’t moved up professionally. Or your sister gets married, has kids, or starts her own business, and you worry and think “Aye she has it all, why not me?”. Each time she moves up, grows bigger you cant stop, but compare her achievements, to yours.

GoWoman, the only person you should be in competition with is yourself. And if others are doing well learn from them but don’t try to chase them. Why be a fake copy when you can be a true original?

By Iyanla Vanzant

Q: How do I stop comparing myself with others?

1. Get clear about you.
A sense of self lets you see others’ successes and become better, not bitter. List words that describe you: smart, strong, kind; mother, friend, visionary. Value yourself and you won’t want to be like anyone else.

2. Seek meaning, not approval.
When you spend your life chasing recognition, you can also expect to spend it worrying about who’s passing you by. If you work to advance your dreams, your place in the pecking order ceases to matter.

3. Know that everyone has her own strengths.
Our parents told us, “Sit up straight like your brother. Clean your room like your sister.” The result? We learned to measure what we do by what others have done. But that isn’t useful when every individual has unique gifts.

4. Emulate what works.
When someone does something well, assess what made her succeed and figure out ways to incorporate those traits in your own life. If that’s possible, great! If not, refer to #1—and keep doing you.

Source: Huff Post 

Photo: ThisIsYourConscience

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GoWoman is the reawakening of the 21st Century African Woman - a bi-annual magazine sharing the complete stories of the African Woman who finds a way or makes one. We do this for self-love, for womankind and for the continent.

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