A guy and a woman are alone in a house. There is no TV, and the internet speed is on F. She is attracted to him and he is clearly attracted to her, otherwise why else would he be there. So they start doing what adults do when there ain’t no techs to distract from sexual tension. They kiss, and touch, and kiss and touch. The room is hot and they are bothered. They look at each other and they both can tell that this here is not a joking matter, goals must be scored mehn. Just as they are about to giggle in excitement, she remembers and utters out loud the words that no hot and bothered man or woman wants to hear at the eleventh hour.
“There are no condoms in this house.”
“What do you mean?” The man asks knowing exactly what she meant.
“There are no condoms in this house.” she laughs in disappointment.
“So will you go and buy some?”
Yes he, the man is asking the woman if she will leave the house, enter car, and now drive to go buy condoms in this Ghana. Its not that she is shy but just like what kind of guy really? A guy in 2016 that is, these guys out here no dey fear nothing again. Dem say oh if you want to be independent woman you have to buy your own condom too.
So she says, “umm no but you can go”.
He’s like oh I can’t drive in my condition.
Then the man without missing a breath says oh why don’t we send the driver.
“My driver? Send my driver to buy condoms? Are you serious? You want my driver to know that his madam is inside here waiting to chop love? He’ll just look at me like ‘Aye Madam’. Yeah I’m not sending my driver to buy condoms.”
“Oh Small gyal, you don’t know the thing”, the man says laughing.
“Get a piece of paper, write Dear Pharmacist, Ehti sen, Pach oh this is my driver I have sent him to buy Durex. I want two of the 3 in a pack. Please wrap it discreetly so he won’t know what is inside. Then give it to him. Thank you.”
She burst out into laughter, realizing that never once had she considered that this was possible. Although they didn’t send the driver that time, and they had to settle for kisses and cuddles she knew that she would have to try out sending the driver because desperate times call for even more desperate measures.
Heard through the GoWoman Grapevines – Send your own chronicles, and survival tips to firstname.lastname@example.org