The morning is such a beautiful thing to experience, for a brief moment you wake and reorient yourself on this place that we call earth. For a minute, you leave your dreams behind and embrace the day before you. The morning to some is a new beginning, but for years and years, the morning was nothing but a reminder of the defining past that was simply yesterday.
I stepped slowly into the light, careful not to startle myself by my own reflection.
No one ever got to see me this way. I was a woman that smiled each day, that reminded herself that she was blessed. It was in these moments before the mirror, when it was just me alone that I was allowed to be sad, I was allowed to cry and I was allowed to hate what I saw. But on this day I wasn’t sure what I was really upset about, was I upset with what I saw or was I upset that I could not see beyond what was being reflected at me? My flaws built a wall around a woman, trapping her from a world that she would never experience. If I could reach the women inside that body, if I could reach her..I would tell her so much.
You cannot see it, but you are hurting yourself. Why do you always stand here and look at yourself like an artist ready to correct, erase and recreate what has already been perfected. What are you looking for when you look in the mirror? You overlook the perfection of your true self and pile on layers and layers of store bought perfection.
Now ask yourself, what happens when it rains? Your makeup in all its colorful perfection will wash together creating pools of nothing. Your hair that you spent your depleting bank account on will lump together unrecognizable, your jewelry will be an anchor for the expensive clothes ready to leave you to nothing but nakedness. The work of art that you thought you created will only become a mural of imperfection.
But are you imperfect?
You cannot see perfection; it is only something you can learn to feel. To feel perfection you have to feed yourself perfection, you have to speak perfection. Your curves are perfect, your smile is breathtaking, your eyes are captivating, but let it captivate you.
Instead of looking at your reflection on this man made thing we call a mirror, take a few seconds and close your eyes, and really look at yourself reflected on the back of your eyelids. Yes you cannot see much. But that is how God made you. You weren’t created as a replica of anything, you weren’t created beautiful in a way that can be seen. Your beauty is something that you are meant to feel, meant to imagine, meant to have faith in. It is there somewhere. Close your eyes to the influences of the world, they are not a mirror of you. You cannot see yourself in them. You can see yourself in you.