Gabrielle Union, Eudoxie, my mother, women who stay after their men cheat and born

When news broke that actor Ludacris, and NBA star Dwayne Wade had both fathered children with “other women” the internet buzzed . There are lots of opinions about their indiscretions  because both men had been in public, long-term relationships. What has been more interesting is that both Gabrielle Union and Eudoxie say they will stay with their cheating partners.

GabrielleUnionEudoxieLudacrisDwayneWade

Cheating is hurtful and wrong. Having a love child, that is a different matter all together. When a man cheats on you today, and has a child, you know for a fact he didn’t use protection. You know for a fact that he put his life, and yours at risk. So I wonder as many have, how can these women find the heart or will to stay?

In the same situation, no I would not stay. These women are better off without them, and should move on. There was a brief moment where I thought surely any, and most women in their right mind would not stay.  Then I remembered that my mother too had stayed.

My parents have been married for over 20 years. For the first half of my life, I grew up knowing four siblings. Then one day when I was 12 years old, I met my other brother from a different mother. Turns out sometime after my birth, and before the birth of my little brother, my dad had welcome a son with another woman.

When? Who? How? Why? These were just a few of the questions I tried to process.
However, the question that I never asked was why had my father’s infidelity not caused a break up in my parents’ marriage. Why didn’t my mom leave him?

Later my mom would tell me that she stayed for us, her children. Her selflessness meant that all of us could grow up with our father around.

I always wondered what went through mom’s mind during that period, and how she reached the decision to stay. Would she have made a different decision had kids not been involved?

As far as we know neither Union nor Eudoxie have kids with their cheating men, but they are staying too. Is it love that makes women stay through this, or is it that black, and African women especially are more likely to accept infidelity because it is something we are raised to expect from our men. And if you stay because of love, does this make you weak?

Gabrielle Union has even taken a bit of responsibility for Wade’s cheating. She says it was because she was focused on her career that their relationship has suffered thus.

“It was because of distance and scheduling,” the “Being Mary Jane” star said. “I finished filming the show, then I flew to Vegas right away to, start shooting ‘Think Like a Man Too.’ I couldn’t take time off, and I missed some quality togetherness we desperately needed.”

However, Union said that during the summer she “reassessed priorities” and ultimately decided that she wanted to make their relationship work. Wade, who also has two sons from a previous marriage and is raising his nephew as well, felt the same way.

“I’d always wanted an awesome career with back-to-back projects, but I realized I wasn’t willing to sacrifice my relationship for it. Moving forward, I decided my work schedule has to make sense for our family,” she said. “Bottom line: If an issue’s a deal breaker, it’s a deal breaker. If your relationship isn’t something you’re willing to give up and you can compromise, do so.”

Whatever the case, I am almost starting to believe that while many may publicly say they’ll leave cheating partners, those women who stay with or without kids involved may be way more than we think. 

 

1 Comment
  1. Hmmmm very difficult decision to take. AS for me it depends on the level of cheating yes cheating has levels lol. If It was the situations cited in this article I am so gone, if he has had a mistress for half our relationship I am gone, cheating multiple times over the years with multiple women I am gone. One night stand that was genuinely a one night stand I am staying however if the one night stand repeats itself I am do gone.

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